Proverbs study: 31
The final chapter of Proverbs encapsulates the pursuit of wisdom put into practice, envisioned through a woman.
I couldn’t help myself to take a stab at this infamous chapter. I think it limits the richness and significance to only see it as a go-to for what a godly wife looks like. Rather, a description of a godly woman.
Why a woman and not a man, you say? Good question, I’m not sure. But, it’s beautifully significant as in those days, women weren’t highly valued and rarely acknowledged. This is one of many ways that God uses the Bible to highlight the marginalized in those times.
I spotted a few themes in what Proverbs has to say about a wise woman:
She’s discerning
She’s disciplined
She’s known for her kindness
Before you dive straight into this list, take a deep breath. If you’re a perfectionist or feel overwhelmed with life as it is, this list isn’t meant to haunt you like a grouchy to-do list.
Remember, the Proverbs 31 woman is a fictional character in the Bible meant to visualize what your life would look like living a perfectly wise life. Straight out the gate, we know we aren’t perfectly wise. Otherwise, we’d be God. Which of course, we’re not.
Breathe, and please \proceed.
A wise woman is discerning
She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. (verse 16)
She takes time, she doesn’t rush through her decisions. She invests wisely and plans with intention in how it will be used. In other words, she’s discerning with her resources. She spends her time investing in building up her family, helping the poor and speaking wisely. Both earthly and eternal investments.
We all have resources: our time, money, possessions. Do we consider how we are investing our resources for ourselves or for God? And she doesn’t spend all her resources on everything and everyone. God doesn’t ask us to be a million places, all at once.
We often conflate a godly woman with a very busy woman. As women, we easily stretch ourselves thin with never ending demands that we and society put on us. We are pulled in a million different directions all the time.
We may be tempted to think that if we’re juggling 24 balls that we’re somehow more successful or godly. But God knows we are limited, He will never give you too much for you to handle.
Notice how she takes care of her immediate family first (verse 15), then she cares for other people (verse 20). A wise woman assesses her resources carefully and discerns how to best utilize them.
A wise woman is disciplined in all areas of life
She wakes up early (verse 15)
She works out (verse 17)
She works hard for her family (verse 24)
She’s not lazy (verse 27)
Proverbs 31 woman knows how to manage her time. In our westernized society, we have more distractions nagging for our attention than ever before. Turning down comforts and entertainment has become a whole discipline within itself.
This may mean you need to re-prioritize how you spend your time. According to a recent study conducted by Harmony Healthcare IT, Americans spend a staggering average of 5 hours and 16 minutes a day on their phones. I think it’s safe to say that most of us could be more disciplined with how we use social media and our phones in general.
Like our phones, many things distract us from other disciplines in our life. I took time off social media recently. I was 100% more productive and that discipline spilled itself into other areas of my life. When I reduced the distractions around me, my time was more focused and I got a lot more efficient.
Everyone operates differently and has their own unique life and circumstances. So discipline for you may look different than discipline for your neighbor.
But frankly? Discipline is a rarely appreciated trait that is overshadowed by our indulgent society.
In an effort to better manage your time, you may need to step down from leading a small group at church. Or, you may need a fitness membership because you can’t bring yourself to complete an at-home class. Maybe you’re reading too many books. Or you aren’t fitting in enough time with God every day. The point is, it’s different for everyone.
A wise woman is known for her kindness
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (verse 26)
This verse doesn’t just refer to the wise woman as being a nice person. Because if we read through Proverbs and try to pick out characteristics and mimic them, we’ll be constantly chasing our tails. Instead, we have to pursue what Proverbs is all about: wisdom. And the only source for wisdom is from God.
Our words reflect what’s going on in our heart. And when the wise woman speaks, she’s revealing her wisdom-centered heart. Wisdom is so ingrained in her, she speaks what she knows. And she knows wisdom well.
She doesn’t shove truth in your face or speak rashly or proudly. She speaks with kindness. By the way, that word is translated in Hebrew as ‘checed’ or ‘hesed’, or another word for God’s covenantal love. Out of wisdom pours out love.
That same word is used in Proverbs 3:3: Do not let kindness and truth leave you. Those two go hand and hand. Like God’s wisdom and His love. The wiser you become, the closer you get to His deep, loving kindness. His hesed love.
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For me, I can tend to be a perfectionist. I’m tempted to read through lists like this and think, “okay, I’ll work on being kind or disciplined”. But I can’t seek God’s traits to become like Him, I’ll just want the traits themselves. I’ll never be those good things until it’s Him who I desire the most.
In order to be wise, we have to know God, the author of wisdom. And the more we know Him, the more we will naturally take on His kind, loving, gentle traits.
