When Christmas Doesn’t Feel Hopeful
Christians all around joyfully observe Advent as we gradually approach celebrating Jesus’ birth. It’s the time of the year to be hopeful. It’s a time to recognize our miraculous gift of salvation, brought to us through a small Child.
But, for some of us, this cheerful time is difficult to resonate with. While we’re regular church attenders, the joy of salvation isn’t so dear to us as it seems to be for others. Christmas serves as an annual reminder of this. Maybe we find it curious, silly, or even annoying to watch the parade of excitement over this particular holiday.
Do we really believe in the Christmas message or have we been more interested in the extended time off and festive activities?
Whether we’re generally known in our church or typically slip in and out through the back most Sundays, there’s a tension growing inside of us. We have a longing that isn’t being fulfilled through God anymore.
Maybe we’re bored or tired of waiting on unanswered prayers. Perhaps we’ve grown weary of hearing how good He is when it doesn’t seem to add up with the constant chaos going on in the world. We question His character. Or, dare we presume to question His very existence? Perhaps humans long ago made Him up in an attempt to make sense of a ruthless world and bring peace to those who suffer.
There may be some of us who have embedded ourselves into church engagement. On a spiritual high we leapt into service, chasing the feeling of being needed or being important. Now that our doubts are catching up on us, we aren’t sure what to do with them. We’ve dug too deep to now admit our challenges with God and His church.
Finally, most of us don’t feel the church would welcome our concerns about God. We’re worried we’ll lose social status or be judged. It’s easier to keep our feelings buried deep inside rather than expose them.
On the outside, we sing, we smile, we politely nod in agreement. All the while, our minds wander to what we’ll do next. We save our focus for other things that offer us more immediate fulfillment–our jobs, passions, projects, family, and friends.
Ah yes, Christmas. Another reminder of the misalignment we feel growing inside our hearts. With each carol sung, the gap widens. How can we worship a King we aren’t sure is good?
Some of us will go on like this for years, decades even. We may take on leadership roles or just continue ticking off our church attendance in our morality check-list.
May I suggest taking a different approach this year? Afterall, if we spend a good amount of time associating with the church, we may as well check in on this time investment.
Perhaps, we can challenge ourselves to not force ourselves to be joyful about something we don’t understand or trust. Instead, let’s allow ourselves to re-examine the Gospel, as if it was the first time hearing it. What if we were honest with our questions instead of hiding them?
God knew we would doubt Him. Which is why He left us with His story through the Bible, a wealth of knowledge on His character. Jesus’ birth is the middle part to a larger story, a covenantal love fulfilled by God. It’s a story which began when the world came into being. It tells us why the world was created, how evil and sin tainted it and our purpose in it.
The Bible is meant to be questioned and studied.
We must ask ourselves, what is it about God that we don’t understand? We can walk alongside a trusted person to guide us through these questions. Afterall, that is the point of the church. Not to congregate as those who pretend to be always happy and good.
Jesus Himself welcomed doubts. They are a sign that we are thinking through what we believe. If we bring our questions to God, we allow Him to answer them. But if we keep silent about them, we will only drift further away. We may be surprised at how many others have struggled with the same doubts once we voice them.
Will we follow alongside others before us, trailing behind a faith we don’t fully trust? Or will we let this Christmas pause our religiosity and reflect on what we truly believe?
