Proverbs study: the words we say
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. - Proverbs 18:21
Have you ever been deeply impacted by what someone else said to you? I think everyone would answer ‘yes’ to that.
Our words are the most powerful thing about us. What we say can bring someone down or build them up. The Proverbs emphasizes the significance of our words in light of living a wise, godly life.
I am very familiar with this. I love to talk and my passions come through my words and body language. Which can be wonderful and horrible at the same time.
When I let my passion slip into anger, I start to lose control over what I’m saying and how I’m saying it. My anger is controlling me instead of me controlling my anger. Oof. That’s when I remember just how sinful I am and there truly is no good in me. In my natural self, I can be very mean sometimes.
Recently, I lost my patience. And it happened so quickly. I was tired, irritated and had been traveling all day. And just like that, I forgot who I was. The love and grace that was extended to me by God so freely and so undeservingly flew out of my brain. I was just someone who wanted something, right then and there. The world needed to cater to my needs right away.
Selfish, right? Very. And you guessed it, I hurt someone I loved while doing so.
What we choose to say reflects what’s going on in our heart. It mirrors how we think of God, ourselves and others. Like what happened to me, my view of myself was completely distorted. I shrunk God and elevated myself, shrinking those around me as well.
Now, hold on. Does this mean that the righteous (those who follow after God) are the only ones who can “speak life” (Proverbs 18:21) into someone? As if to say that those who don’t believe in God won’t have anything good to say? Of course not.
What Proverbs is alluding to is that our words can either bring someone towards God or away from Him. Notice the verse differentiates that “death and life” are held in the tongue. Death = path facing away from God. And life = path facing towards God.
Slow to speak
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. - Proverbs 12:18
Our words are critically important. And yet we’re so prone to spilling out what we have to say without stopping to think about what we’re saying.
The moment I let my self-proclaimed passion leave humility in the backseat of the car and hit the gas-pedal on my own truth, I will steam-roll over others. So busy talking, I’m unable to see my increasing speed and am aware of others around me who are or will be impacted by my words. And this is where people can get hurt. And on this side of Heaven, sometimes irrevocably.
Slow to anger
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. - Proverbs 14:29
When we take time to thoughtfully reflect our words, this allows us to slow down our anger response as well. Notice, the text doesn’t say we shouldn’t get angry. There are numerous examples of righteous-anger in the Bible, including Jesus Himself (Matthew 21:12 to name one).
The key word here is slow. When we don’t let the blood rush to our brain too quickly and instead take a deep breath then we have time to consider what is going on. We have time to consult God, asking for Him to give you discernment and wisdom as to how to respond. And depending on the situation, we may have time to seek counsel from others wiser than us (Proverbs 12:15).
And maybe, if we use this space to reflect on the grace that’s been extended towards us, our hearts may change from anger to patience.
There is still a place for anger. When we align our heart with God, we align with the injustices that hurt His heart. But when we fly off on our own, without holding onto God’s wisdom, we turn a just-fight into a self-serving one. Leaving people hurt, including ourselves. And usually justice is left in the dust since we’ve turned it to be about ourselves.
Arrogant or humble?
The fear of the Lord is the instruction for wisdom, and before honor comes humility. - Proverbs 15:33
When we seek God and pursue His wisdom, we are denying our own wisdom. We’re denying our own perceived ideas of what is right. We’re denying ourselves. We can only do this if we humbly fear God first and foremost in our life.
If we don’t do this, we’ll fall into the thinking that we know better than God. And maybe better than most others as well.
We all want to be the person who can take credit for something great. It feels good to be looked at and revered for your talent. Which is what makes it so difficult to live a life as an arrow pointing to God’s goodness and not your own.
So we use and abuse our words, twisting them to make ourselves feel better. Not pointing to God at all.
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Words can be very powerful and used in incredible ways that glorify God. How do our words impact others? And what does that say about the state of our own heart towards God?
