Proverbs study: Who are your friends?

Proverbs has insight into how you choose your friends. King Solomon argues that who you surround yourself with matters a lot.

Proverbs 1:15 says, “My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path.” This text is referring to sinners (verse 10) or those who aren’t Christians. Of course, we’re all sinners; until and unless we let God make us righteous and holy through His righteousness and holiness.

Now, this in no way means you shouldn’t have friends who aren’t Christians. The Bible is filled with proving otherwise. How else are we supposed to be the hands of feet of Jesus toward unbelievers? Jesus continually surrounded Himself around unbelievers while on earth.

Rather, what Proverbs is warning against is a close relationship with those not walking with God that draws you into their path of life. Notice that the text says to not “walk with them”. This means you aren’t following what they’re following after, you’re still following God.

Jesus was the most radical person ever to be on earth. He didn’t conform to His friends who didn’t love God, He remained radical. Romans 12:2 tells us to be in the world but not conformed to it. Meaning, we love people around us but don’t let our identity in Christ change.

You’re either walking towards God or away from Him in another life path. There is no inbetween. 

Discerning your close-knit relationships

How does this look in practice? I don’t believe this is black and white. It’s dependent on the person and their walk with God. This is where discernment and seeking God’s wisdom comes in.

Reflect where you’re at with God right now - whether you’re struggling in your faith, a new Christian or a long-standing Christian battling the basics of who God is and what it means to be a Christian. You may be in a stage where you’re more easily influenced. Perhaps, taking a step back from friends you once lived a life apart from God is the healthy move for you. 

This is where you would need to discern whether or not someone is drawing you closer or further away from God. Maybe boundaries need to be placed in order to have a healthier relationship.

This does not preclude those who are more spiritually “mature”. They can be susceptible to being influenced by people and things other than God easily as well. Anyone can be. And to believe you’re immune from this, would put you in a great disadvantage. 

In very extreme and many times rare instances, you may need to cut ties with someone. I say this with great caution, as I believe our current climate is trigger-happy when it comes to cutting people out. This doesn’t leave room for grace or growth in someone’s life. But there are times when this may apply.

Ask God for wisdom and seek counsel from healthy, godly people in your life if you think this may apply to you. This is what makes living life closely with a Godly, healthy community so important. Those who are more spiritually mature can speak into your life and help you with that discernment.

So take inventory of who your friends are. Do you have a close knit community of Christian friends who can lovingly speak into your life? Are any of your closest friends Christians? If you don’t, prayerfully consider prioritizing a close, godly community. 

Virtual friends

One thing I’ll add here is the influence of friends or acquaintances on social media. While we may not be friends with everyone we follow on social media, we can sometimes feel that way. We’re able to get a front-row seat into other people’s lives through the rise of vlogger influencers. Which can be a wonderful thing. Or, it could be slowly influencing your life to care less about what God cares about and more about temporal joys of this world.

I know, I am very well aware of how antiquated I sound. But life is really important. It matters what you do with it. Every little moment adds up collectively to this life we live. Are we investing in the salvation God gave us? Or are we distracted by other beautiful, small joys of this life? Our friends, whether in life or virtual, can be deeply instrumental into how much or little we care about God. 

Who is influencing you in your life right now?